


You’re Not Going To Win This One!

by GlintOnGlass



Category: Naruto
Genre: Arguing, F/M, Humor, Love/Hate, Post-Naruto Time Skip | Naruto Shippuden, Resolved Sexual Tension, Romance, Sexual Humor, Teen Romance, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-12
Updated: 2007-01-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 03:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4124068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlintOnGlass/pseuds/GlintOnGlass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every day after training, unfortunately, Sai and I had to walk the same way home. That's when our daily routine started. Well, I called it that, anyway. Daily Routine was always a better way of saying '<i>Fight to the Death</i>'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You’re Not Going To Win This One!

**Author's Note:**

> Another one of my **very** old works. I remember wanting to see Sai out of his comfort zone, so I wrote this one-shot. As I'm looking back on it now, the amount of punctuation marks makes me _cringe_. I'm not going to edit it, though, because this was the original format I wrote it in. The quality is embarrassing but I thought it was still hilarious, so here it goes!
> 
> Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto  
>  _You’re Not Going To Win This One!_ ideas  & original characters © GlintOnGlass (formerly RedAlchemist). All rights reserved.

"I'm so tired of training all the time! Can't we _ever_ take a break?!" I yelled, collapsing against the nearest tree. My knees buckled after a while, my back sliding against the hard bark.

 

"Come on, Yumiko! Quit being so lazy! We've got to train or we'll never get stronger!" Naruto yelled, flashing me a grin and a quick thumbs-up before going back to his training. I sighed and got up again, starting my training with Sakura.

 

"Quit being such a whiny bitch." Sai commented from his fight with Yamato. I gritted my teeth, trying not to say anything to the bastard as I took up a fighting stance. After all, I was banned from arguing with him until training was over. You see, after a full episode of arguing with a certain black haired jerk (that took up the whole day) we were officially banned from arguing with each other.

 

At least until training was over.

 

After training, unfortunately, Sai and I had to walk the same way. That's when the daily routine started. Well, I called it that anyway. Daily Routine was always a better way of saying ' _fight to the death_ '.

 

"You pompous jerk! How **dare** you speak to me in that manor!?" I screamed, for once starting the fight. Usually he would say something rude and get me pissed off before I could get a word in edgewise.

 

"You were the one being lazy and conceited. Don't blame me for your lack of skills." Sai replied, his voice monotone as always. I glared.

 

"Yeah, well don't come crying to me when you find out that you're not as good as you think you are!" I retorted, the words snapping out of my mouth. It usually went this way. He'd get me heated, I'd yell and scream until my lungs were about to burst, and he'd keep on insulting me in that damn monotonous voice.

 

"Psh. Like that'll ever happen." He said, putting his hands behind his head.

 

"You're such an ass." I muttered.

 

"And you're a loser."

 

"Bastard."

 

" _Bitch_."

 

" **Retard**."

 

"Moron."

 

"You look like a girl in that outfit!" I yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him.

 

"Well _someone_ has to." Sai said, a smirk on his face when he saw my eyes widen. My mouth dropped as I stopped walking, slapping him across the face. He looked at me in surprise for a moment. Our arguments never got physical.

  

"You…you…complete and utter **asshole**!!!" I screamed, my face red from embarrassment, and most of all anger.

 

"Quit acting like I killed your cat. Geesh." Sai said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Insecure bitch." He added under his breath.

 

"If you were **twice** as smart, you'd still be stupid." I said, my hands balling into fists.

 

"Some people are has-beens, you are a never-was."

 

"Do you still love nature…despite what it did to you?"

 

"Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!"

 

"Out of 100,000 sperm you were the _fastest_!? Inconceivable!"

 

"Get a life."

 

"If you ever happen to get one, **stop by and I'll tell you how to run it**!!"

 

"I fell so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here!" Sai yelled. I blinked, wondering what happened to make him yell. He never yelled before.

 

"Would you like to be buried or cremated!?" I yelled. By now we had stopped walking and were screaming at each other.

 

"With you around, I'd rather be _fumigated_!" He yelled.

 

"I hear when you were a child, your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much!!" I screamed.

 

"Oh please! You know you want me!" He yelled.

 

"Yeah, right! Like I'd ever want a **leech** like you!!"

 

"You know you want to sleep with me! Don't deny it you idiot!" He shouted.

 

"The only way I'd lay naked with you would be in a mass grave!!!!" I yelled so loudly it caused the birds resting in the trees to fly away.

 

" _Dumbass_!"

 

" **Bastard**!"

 

"Bitch!"

 

"Asshole!"

 

"Wench!"

 

"Prick!"

 

" **Slut**!"

 

"I…… _words cannot express how much I hate you_!!" I yelled, in frustration.

 

This…this…thing wasn't even fit for a proper insult! I'd run out of things that even expressed my loathing toward this guy.

 

"Running out of insults already? Talk about a low memory capacity." Sai said, smirking in triumph.

 

"Says the guy who only uses techniques that have to do with art! At least I managed to learn all the others, unlike yourself!!!" I screeched, my face completely red with frustration.

 

"Don't criticize my techniques! I actually have some! And they're **original**!! I can't say the same for yours!!" He screamed.

 

"There's nothing wrong with my techniques! They work, don't they!? Oh, yeah, and they don't involve getting someone to sleep with for the night!!"

 

"Just because you aren't getting any doesn't mean you have to take it out on me!!"

 

"Who ever said I wanted any?! I don't need something like that to rule my life! Have you ever thought that I just hate you so much that I can't help but let all my frustration out on someone as _dimwitted_ as you!?" I yelled, my eyes blazing.

 

" **Ugh**! Why can't you bother someone else as stupid as you!? Why do I have to be the one who you bother all the time?!" He asked, the exasperation on his face.

 

"Because you're an easy target! You just get on my nerves so damn much, I can't help but _scream_ at you!!!"

 

"Well, learn how to handle your emotions another way!!" Sai yelled, determination in his eyes. He wanted to win this argument.

 

"Oh yeah?! Well, tell me Mr. I-Know-Everything, how the **hell am I supposed to do that**!!?" I screamed, throwing up my arms in the air.

 

"LIKE THIS!!!!" He screamed.

 

In the next moment, his lips were on mine, his dark eyes boring into me. Pure resistance and rebellion were in his eyes as he met my gaze head on. It took me a moment to realize this was just another **challenge**. One that he didn't want to lose.

 

My eyes narrowed when he pushed me against the nearest tree, his hands resting firmly on my hips. His eyes were still locked with mine just as his hands started to move upward. By this time, I'd taken up the challenge. In one of the quickest moves I'd ever done, I switched places with him and _shoved_ him against the tree.

 

"Don't think you're going to win, loser." I mumbled quickly, lip locking with him again. I felt him smirk as one of his hands started up my shirt. My eyes narrowed and I jumped up, locking my legs around his waist. I got the satisfaction when I saw his eyes widen, his hand pausing for a moment.

 

He really wasn't expecting that.

 

"Bitch." He mumbled against my lips, having to put one of his hands around my thigh to keep my body steady. He knew I was winning. His tongue slid into my mouth as he pushed us both to the ground. The grass was oddly soft against my back as I stared up at him. He'd just evened the score.

 

I was going to _fix_ that.

 

My arms that were locked around his neck moved to the back of his head, my fingers running through his hair as I undid his forehead protector. It fell to the ground beside us and I caught a glimpse of the sky. We'd been arguing for the past four hours, it was after sunset. Just as he was about to make his responding move, a voice interrupted us.

 

" **JUST WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING**!!!?" We both paused, recognizing the voice as Yamato's. We glanced at each other, still connected at the mouth, and got off each other.

 

"Fighting." We both answered at the exact same time. Yamato looked at us with wide eyes and eventually sighed and shook his head.

 

"Both of you, come with me now!" He ordered and started walking away. Sai and I exchanged a glance before following our replacement teacher. As soon as Yamato was out of earshot, we spoke.

 

"Dumbshit."

 

"Dumbfuck."

 

" **Bitch**."

 

"Asshole."

 

" _WHAT WAS THAT_!!?" Yamato yelled, an anime vein popping up on his forehead. We both shut up and followed him the rest of the way. Just as Yamato was looking the other way, I spoke.

 

"We'll settle this later." I said, my eyes forward. I could tell Sai was smirking his ass off beside me.

 

" _Count on it_."

 


End file.
